I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
