so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
