There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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