You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
