Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
