She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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