Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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