I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
