We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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