The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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