im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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