the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
