The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sarcasm needs its own font
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
