that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
