I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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