oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
