Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to calm my uterus...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
