I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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