things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
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I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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