turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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