Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize