Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
