I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
