So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
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Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
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It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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