My nipple is on Facebook.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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