i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize