Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
