get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
