her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
