I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
