By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
