Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
