I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
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