Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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