I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
