I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize