i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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