I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
