Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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