Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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