Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
