found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
