Yo dont text me then not text me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize