well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize