Someone shit on the floor
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
