alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
