walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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