Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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