please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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