I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
