I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
