You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
