i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Its about making memories worth repressing
organizing the empties. That sober.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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