So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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