she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no, he came in my armpit
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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