Im at strip club and am horny
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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