i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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