fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize